Awww...they are all gone to worlds now. I miss them.

I have so many things to do. I have to write them on my calendar first. :-)

Going to Carowinds with the yonkovichs and then doing a whole lot of babysitting.

I think i might go to the race tomorrow night and see how matts doing. Ususally im babysitting and then taekwondo takes priority so i havent gone. I havent seen him in forever. Hes about to be engaged. Im so happy for him. Hes like my brother.

I think i over analyze things. I ask too many questions sometimes. eeh. But sometimes i do it to cover my butt so i dont make another person feel uncomfortable but then in return i think i do. eeh..i dont know..then here i go over analzing again.

oh well, no drama. ::sighs:: i feel like im about to start my period. that might be why i am like that. im a little more restless. i hate my period. I wish it would go away. but then again i dont because then i would be inable to reproduce and i dont want that to happen.

Tomorrow im goign to dinner with mrs frances. Im excited. shes like my second mommy. i wish i had more time to spend so i could spend it with her.

Eeh, being at the studio these past two days were draining. The fake factor was climbing. It was more yesterday than the day before. Tuesday they were doing such a good job. Then i read into it and realized exactly how hard people were trying so mr g doesnt have to come back to someone pissed molly off or molly pissed someone off. Yes, i held my tongue when he said something to irritate me. Then lucy showed up with her boyfrined. WHY? He does have a big mark on his nose from levi. It was funny. I tried sooo hard to be good and be nice to her and be respectful to her. I did it sucessfully. I even complimented her. But them Mr Buhls had to say something to put me down when i was trying to compliment her. But its not a big deal. Im respectful to him and even nice to him. Doesnt that mean i went out of my way? Oh yeah, they both said something to me they know pissed me off. By the end of the day i was soo sleepy, drained. I had to go home. I know that they arent real. I fully understand that. But i realize that if i dont do anything to piss them off than i am not giving them reason.

It might be because i dont trust their intentions towards me. I dont trust them farther than i can throw either of them. I dont see either of them as geniune. That is why i resort to trusting few. Respecting both, wishy washy on the wondering if i should like them. but whatever.





i know your going AHHH in your head.