Inside i dont get my hopes up. Then i dont get let down. I like being suprised. Infact, id wrather be suprised. Things that i fantasize about i dont expect. Then i dont get let down. There are things i want but i dont get my hopes up. I just let them fly away like the wind if it doesnt happen. Or, if it does happen, i am suprised and take in the moment more. There are very few things in my life i have gotten my hopes up for and gotten. The more i dont get my hopes up the more happens. I dont know. Its the way it works. That must be why i seem so patient. I dont get my hopes up so i dont get let down. I keep my feelings and recognie what i want but dont expect it. Then i dont have to worry about being hurt. When i expect things i get hurt inside.

I dont know, maybe im about to start my period or something. I just feel like crying right now.