I feel like shit. I wish people would ask me what is wrong sometimes before being hard on me. It would make my life easier. I understand the mentality behind it. It was my fault that i didnt communicate that to them. I wasnt just being lazy and i didnt need motivation.
Actually, i needed encouragement, thankyou jill. That made me feel sooo much better giving me the opportunity to break black. It really made my confidence sky rocket. That was soo awesome nad thoughtful. She probably doesnt like me, but i really respecy her and think shes great. I really want to be her frined again but i dont know if shed ever give me that opportunity. Plus, she is friends with dana who probably hates me too.
Im in such a pissy mood. I am abotu to go to sleep but i wanted to rant first so i dont cry myself to sleep. People tell me its because i dont communicate that i cry alot and have built up emotion, anxiety, and thoughts. Well, i only am completely comfortable with talking to one person right now and im not going to wait forever to talk to them. My life doesnt work like that. So, i write. If they call than thats wonderful. It brightens my day, it makes me happy, it allows me to vent and feel like i am loved, appreciated, and respected all at the same time. But if they dont, i cant base my everyday on talking to one person. I did that in middle school and the days i couldnt talk to teresa were the most depressing of my life. Basing your everyday on another is unstable and doesnt allow you to have control of your life.
Yes, this is me putting my life on the internet...but whatever. Its my online journal. So, take it or leave it.

Im listening to the moonlight sonata...i heard it at the studio and it makes me calm and collective so i downloaded it so i can listen to it. Plus, its like 6 mins long so it goes on forever.